Can we just go back to the days when geeks were geeks?

This past week has been a doozy. I’ve been sick. Morrigan’s been sick. My computer has been dead.

Oh, yeah. That dinosaur is extinct. So, I upgraded to a very nice little Toshiba running Windows 8.1. I’ve been snuggled up with it the past couple of days. You could say we’re in the “getting to know you” stage.

Regarding Windows 8.1, some of you will be aware that the Start menu is not what it used to be. Instead of a menu popping up when you click the icon in the lower left corner, you are transported to another page entirely and presented with an array of tiles. Clicking on a tile will take you to its associated program. It’s taking a bit to get used to it, but I’m over my initial revulsion.

The Metro Apps: I’m pretty sure geeks didn’t come up with the name.

Naturally, I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of time removing bloatware (AKA shitware). I have plenty of my own things to fill the hard drive with, thank you very much. The most vexing thing was the damned Wild Tangent games. I got them off the system readily enough, but I couldn’t get rid of the icons. I combed through the registry for hours until I finally stumbled on the solution.

Shame on you Microsoft. What a crummy trick to play. I found your carefully hidden entries in the registry, and I deleted that shit.

Whilst I was grumbling to myself about Microsoft’s complete disrespect for me and my time I began wondering how hard it would be to completely uninstall IE from this machine.

For the record, I hate IE. I use Firefox most of the time. (I’m a big supporter of Open Source software.) So, I did a quick little DuckDuckGo search, and I decided to check out this page.

WTF, yo?

This is NOT how you “uninstall” IE. This is how you temporarily disable it. The fact that they accessed the “Turn Off Windows Features” link via Run does not make them geeks. It makes them good at fooling mainstreamers into feeling all technical and geek chic-y whilst shilling for Microsoft. (Really, we’ll tell you how to do this, but there’s no actual good reason for you to want to. You’re just being stubborn. Give IE a chance, you guys! waaaah!)

The only reason to temporarily disable something is when there is some question as to whether or not you really think you can live without that thing. It is a trial separation. Should you suddenly be struck with the idea that IE 10 is a huge improvement over previous incarnations and really ought to be given a fair shake, why you can just go right back in there and turn that Windows feature right back on!

If, however, one actually wants to uninstall IE, it is not a separation. It is a divorce. You are done with that shit, and if it ever tries to sneak back in you are ready, willing, and able to kick it right the hell back out again–right in the babymaker.

Ooh, I’m gonna give it such a kick!