I’m feeling sad at the moment and not just because of Robin.
For the first few days she was back to school Morrigan was happy to be there. She *liked* school, and I was happy about that. I want my kids to like school. This morning, however, it took me almost an hour to stop her crying. I have a bad feeling tomorrow won’t be any better.
“I don’t want to go to club after school, Mom! I don’t like being in the game room. Can’t you please come pick me up?”
I would happily pick my daughter up from school, but I don’t have a car anymore.
I don’t talk about our financial situation a whole lot, but it’s bad. I got laid off forever and ago. Trying to find a job in my field was impossible because of my lack of a degree. Hell, people with a degree were lucky to get a position that paid little more than half what I made previously. Then my health started going downhill.
Did I mention that I was the only income earning person in my household? My husband is disabled. He cannot work, though he happily would if he could.
In the meantime, I have tried everything I could think of to bring a steady income in, but I have been less than successful. So, there are times when we don’t know how we’re going to keep the lights on. We are behind on rent and looking at possible eviction. Times are tough.
I’ve been through tough times before. I’ve been homeless. I’ve been hungry. I don’t want that for my daughter. Now she’s faking illness so she can stay home from school rather than go to club afterwards (my neighbor, whose son attends the same school one grade up, drives her to and from school).
Henry went through something similar when he was in grade school. He went to an after school program called “Kids Express”. One day he told me he called it “Kids Depressed”. He was seven. It broke my heart. Eventually his dad and I decided to let him walk home after school rather than stay. He had to spend a half-hour alone before his dad got home, but Henry was always a responsible kid, and he never had any problems. Morrigan has no such options.
I could take the bus and get her, but there’s still a lot of walking involved. That would be fine if it wasn’t so damned hot still. I can handle it, but I don’t want her walking so far in the heat. Besides, I can’t afford the bus pass.
Anyway. I’m going to start putting some stuff up on Cafe Press, start a Patreon account, and whatever else I can do to try and bring any amount of money in. I’m hoping to get a job at the new grocery store that opened up within walking distance of my house. We shall see. There’s more to this, but I’m getting even more depressed now, so I’m just going to stop. Sorry to lay this on you, but I really needed to vent.