The rest of you should prepare yourselves to either groan or scratch your heads in confusion, whichever comes naturally.
One day Roy Rogers was strutting down Main Street.
He was feeling very proud and handsome because he had just purchased a brand-spanking-new pair of rattlesnake skin boots. Oh! They were gorgeous, especially with the sun glinting off the scales!
So, down the street he goes, smiling and happy, when out of nowhere, a nasty old alley cat leaps onto him and starts a-tearing and a-chewing at his new shoes!
Roy swings into action! He grabs that ol’ alley cat by the tail, and he swings it this way! and he swings it that way! Then he twirls it over his head like a lasso! Then he throws it over his shoulder, all limp and dizzy from the ordeal.* Roy dusts himself off and heads back down the street. Dale Evans is there, leaning on a fence post. She calls out to him:
“Pardon me, Roy! Is that the cat that chewed your new shoes?”
*No animals were harmed in the making of this post. Except maybe a few diamondback rattlesnakes. I personally did not harm them, but I imagine being made into a boot is less than beneficial to a snake’s well-being.